Awww, thanks so much, Luisa! Monty sounds like a great character - how lovely that he keeps tabs on you all like that. 'Set in his ways' - soooo cute! 😊
Oh my goodness, your poor precious eight- year-old self! My heart raced for you!
As far as dogs go, I'm not sure about the getting lost, but I do wonder how they feel about our constantly hurling things away from us, then insisting that they retrieve the things, only to repeat the same vigorous rejection, even employing cunningly contrived arm extensions to distance ourselves further from these objects that we then instantly demand back.
I wonder if they say to each other, "The amazing thing is, they never tire of it." ?
Oh gosh - I almost cried with you, Rebecca. You portrayed your 8 year old self so truthfully. And music is often a trigger.
As to dogs - ours can be off-leash on a deserted beach he knows well and he will trot or canter off, sniff around and then will look to make sure we're following. Our dog trainer calls it 'checking in' and it's about confidence, but it's also a trait that we reward because if he got onto a scent and kept going, heavens knows where he'd end up. Some dogs, (we read about them and they make movies about them), get lost by accident and then find their way across country, back home. Our dog would be broken-hearted if he wasn't in his familiar space with familiar faces. I suspect 'Lost' might be his worst nightmare.
Thanks so much, Prue! And yes, music can really bring old memories to the fore, can't it? I guess that's a good thing in the case of happy memories, or when trying to help perhaps people with memory issues to be able to engage with their past. But sometimes, well, it can land our heads in places they've got no business revisiting!
'Checking-in' is really interesting - thank you so much for sharing that about your dog. That really does make sense! 😊
I remember this post when it was first published, and I love how you've topped and tailed it.
I did find in LA that sometimes I would turn a corner into a different street and the hairs would go up on the back of my neck (and I was nearly 30) so I can understand how an 8 year old would find the experience of being lost in a horrible abandoned staircase etc would be scary.
Dogs are very protective of their owners and have an amazing sense of smell. So perhaps the dog in the letter was sensing a potential danger that the owner was unable to perceive.
Finally, make a note to yourself not to watch ET again if the music triggers you -- it's not fair on Jim 😂🎶🎼🎻
Going even slightly wrong can land us straight into panic mode, can't it? Glad you're not still wandering around streets of LA that you hadn't been expected to turn into.
I hadn't considered the fact that the dog might have sniffed something that it wasn't sure about - that's a good point!
'Watch ET again'? NOT happening. 🤣 I even had to turn off the Jack Whitehall edition of 'Desert Island Discs' on Radio 4 a few years ago - in floods of tears - AT WORK - when there wasn't sufficient warning about what his next choice of disc was - yup, the ET theme tune. Just the opening bars were enough to set me off...
Although, speaking as a native Californian, one does not necessarily have to be lost to be terrified in LA. Even well-known streets can be intimidating.
I'm scared of LA just from the movies, Sharron....! Bright lights, big city! Mind you, those hills around the city look amazing - I guess there are plenty of hiking opportunities!
I also recall getting lost as a child - a very scary experience! Shudder. (Although I have an excellent sense of direction these days.)
And I often walk dogs for other people. I took one to the dog park one day and let it off the lead. It looked at me like I was nuts then pushed against me until I put the lead back on, then bounded off as fast as it could, looking absolutely thrilled to be there. I’m sure some dogs think we’d be lost without them to show us the way!
Another emotional, heartfelt, terrific read. Thanks so much. 🤗😘🥰
Thanks so much, Beth! It's interesting that getting lost as a child doesn't necessarily mean that that's going to feature in adulthood. It would be nice if my getting lost so much as a child had meant that I had worked on my sense of direction to improve it. I wonder why I didn't?
That's such a lovely story about the dog you were walking. Courage in company, right? I think there's some of that in all of us.
Thank you so much for reading, Beth, and for really making me think about this stuff. Perfect!
I think you either have a sense of direction or you don’t. It’s just a built-in feature. (Like the ability for maths. Or creativity.)
I drove a boyfriend to his home city one time. We explored all sorts of places on the way and when we got to the main highway I turned left. He said No you’re driving the wrong way! I live here, I know better than you. So I turned around and five kilometres later he was forced to admit that I’d been right and he was wrong. My body just knows. Thankfully.
(Getting lost as a kid involved rock ledges and dense bush and older relatives who just assumed I’d recognise the back of a house I’d never been to before! I found it but it was very scary.)
That's brilliant, Beth! You showed him! 🤣 Jim's the same - he's tuned in to places he's never been before. By default he seems to know which way round he is all the time - I don't know if it's vibrations, or the sun (he's always telling me about the sun, bless him, and I still don't understand it). I'm doing a lot of reading around how finding your way works...!
Rock ledges and dense bush - gosh, those are really scary surroundings. Being out there lost and alone would be a nightmare!
When I was about the same age I left a social function at the huge downtown church where we went when I was a kid, to have an explore. This was a posh old gothic built on five floors, and it had a rickety elevator that was enticing and terrifying to me--a Tim Burton creation from the steampunk hall of fame. I hopped aboard, managed to pull the gate closed and punched a button. Up up up I creaked to the top floor of the church, and then...I couldn’t open the gate. Then the lights went off. I thought I was trapped forever, and collapsed sobbing on the floor. After interminable lonely time passed, I heard footsteps, and then the elevator door opened. It was my mom, who missed me at the church meeting went looking for me. She must have followed the sound of my tears to rescue me from the elevator of doom. I still think of her ability to find me as proof of the supernatural powers of motherhood. I was so relieved to see her! I still am, just thinking of that moment when the door swung open and it wasn’t a monster, but my mom!
Oh goodness me, Peter - you had me right on the edge of my seat! Yay to supermom - how wonderful that her sixth sense kicked in and she came to rescue you. You've summed up 'lost' for me in these two words: 'interminably lonely'.
Apr 22, 2023·edited Apr 22, 2023Liked by Rebecca Holden
I think you did right by calling your 'stack "Reader, I'm Lost," rather than "Reader, I'm Interminably Lonely." You might have gotten the wrong kind of "friends."
I loved the ET story the first time around and it was just as lovely.
I’ve not spent much time with dogs, really. Just my partner’s family dog, and my sibling’s dog, both of whom died some time ago. But I do remember both of them looking back at me when we’d be out in the yard, off-leash, and making sure I was following along properly.
Thank you so much for the second read, Alison - that means a lot! How lovely!
I didn't grow up around dogs, but Jim had one when I met him - he was lovely. That part about 'looking back at me... and making sure I was following along properly' - actually, Jim and his dog were both always checking that each other was there - both ways. They had such a bond.
It certainly seems that safety, security and comfort are not just human needs.
Wow, how scary! Reminds me of the time when as a child, I followed our dog who’d escaped the yard. I just wandered around the neighborhood with her until I suddenly didn’t recognize where I was and got scared. Eventually my older brother showed up on his bike and I rode home with him. Rescued by a Mike in shining armor!
"Mike in shining armor" - that's so lovely, Jen! Big brothers are a great gift - I wouldn't trade mine for anyone. 😊
Your inadvertent adventure in the company of your dog is really interesting - were you trying to get her back into the yard, or were you joining her on her escapade? I'm interested because it's perhaps the fact that you were in her company - that she gave you courage - that you felt able to follow her? Canine influence. You trusted her, and perhaps you knew subsconsciously that in being in her company you would be okay.
(Does that make sense?)
Hope you and Bryan have got sunshine today. Thinking of you both!
That must have been terrifying. A good cry was probably therapeutic. When my son was 8 he was in a play and instead of being on stage he went thru the wrong door, ended up in an alley, also in the rain, but luckily ran around to the front of the theatre and was able to enter. He still gave a hilarious performance.
Awww, thank you! Actually I know you've recently come across the story already - thank you for reading it again, Jillian!
Music is soooo evocative. Other things, too, like scents. My favourite flower is JUST now on the verge of blooming - lilies of the valley have such an amazing fragrance, and just the smell transports me to being a tiny girl in my bed in my tiny pink bedroom, with an old glass scent bottle with just three stems of my favourite flower in it right next to me on my bedside table. Mum used to pick them for me and put them by my bed as a lovely surprise. That's such a special memory (entirely removed from getting lost, actually!). The important things that we remember are so, so strong even decades on, aren't they?
Awww, thanks so much, Luisa! Monty sounds like a great character - how lovely that he keeps tabs on you all like that. 'Set in his ways' - soooo cute! 😊
Oh my goodness, your poor precious eight- year-old self! My heart raced for you!
As far as dogs go, I'm not sure about the getting lost, but I do wonder how they feel about our constantly hurling things away from us, then insisting that they retrieve the things, only to repeat the same vigorous rejection, even employing cunningly contrived arm extensions to distance ourselves further from these objects that we then instantly demand back.
I wonder if they say to each other, "The amazing thing is, they never tire of it." ?
LOL Jackie - it had never occurred to me that playing fetch like that might be a way for dogs to occupy US!!!!! That's brilliant!!!! 🤣
And thank you so much for being eight right alongside me while you were reading this. Means a lot. 😊
Rebecca, I too share a keen sense of misdirection. Hey, they made GPSs for a reason! 🙂
LOL - that's SUCH a good point! Thank you! 🤣
Happy to hold your lead anytime ET . Much love xx
Awwwwww, Elly! 😘
Oh gosh - I almost cried with you, Rebecca. You portrayed your 8 year old self so truthfully. And music is often a trigger.
As to dogs - ours can be off-leash on a deserted beach he knows well and he will trot or canter off, sniff around and then will look to make sure we're following. Our dog trainer calls it 'checking in' and it's about confidence, but it's also a trait that we reward because if he got onto a scent and kept going, heavens knows where he'd end up. Some dogs, (we read about them and they make movies about them), get lost by accident and then find their way across country, back home. Our dog would be broken-hearted if he wasn't in his familiar space with familiar faces. I suspect 'Lost' might be his worst nightmare.
Thanks so much, Prue! And yes, music can really bring old memories to the fore, can't it? I guess that's a good thing in the case of happy memories, or when trying to help perhaps people with memory issues to be able to engage with their past. But sometimes, well, it can land our heads in places they've got no business revisiting!
'Checking-in' is really interesting - thank you so much for sharing that about your dog. That really does make sense! 😊
I remember this post when it was first published, and I love how you've topped and tailed it.
I did find in LA that sometimes I would turn a corner into a different street and the hairs would go up on the back of my neck (and I was nearly 30) so I can understand how an 8 year old would find the experience of being lost in a horrible abandoned staircase etc would be scary.
Dogs are very protective of their owners and have an amazing sense of smell. So perhaps the dog in the letter was sensing a potential danger that the owner was unable to perceive.
Finally, make a note to yourself not to watch ET again if the music triggers you -- it's not fair on Jim 😂🎶🎼🎻
Thanks for reading it again, Terry!
Going even slightly wrong can land us straight into panic mode, can't it? Glad you're not still wandering around streets of LA that you hadn't been expected to turn into.
I hadn't considered the fact that the dog might have sniffed something that it wasn't sure about - that's a good point!
'Watch ET again'? NOT happening. 🤣 I even had to turn off the Jack Whitehall edition of 'Desert Island Discs' on Radio 4 a few years ago - in floods of tears - AT WORK - when there wasn't sufficient warning about what his next choice of disc was - yup, the ET theme tune. Just the opening bars were enough to set me off...
I didn't think the music was that bad myself. 😄 Panic indeed. It must be to do with the feeling of being unmoored, if you see what I mean
Oh, the music itself is absolutely beautiful - it's just that its associations aren't great from my point of view, if you see what I mean! 🤣
'Feeling unmoored' is a beautiful way of looking at it, Terry. Thank you for that. 😊
I was joking, Rebecca. Get a grip. OMG, I am surrounded by humourless harridans. Thanks for compliment :-)
I know! And thank you for your *coughs* empathy and compassion...! 🙄😉🤣
Compassion is my middle name. (Fancy being saddled with THAT all my life!). But you knows I'm only joshin', Rebecca. 🥰
Although, speaking as a native Californian, one does not necessarily have to be lost to be terrified in LA. Even well-known streets can be intimidating.
I'm scared of LA just from the movies, Sharron....! Bright lights, big city! Mind you, those hills around the city look amazing - I guess there are plenty of hiking opportunities!
I loved LA..
Working? Studying? Lolling about smoking pot?
https://terryfreedman.substack.com/p/language-barrier
Oh yes! Lots of hiking in the Angeles National Forest / San Gabriel mountains. If I had a choice, though, I would opt for the Grampians... sigh
Sounds great! As indeed do the Grampians!
Tis true
Wonderfully written. It’s amazing how the soundtrack took you right back to that feeling.
That's so kind - thank you, Julie! Music can be so evocative, can't it? 😊
Thanks for such a nice story. Great job with the mind of an 8 year old.
Thanks so much, Scott! Reckon I haven't changed - or grown up! - much in the following thirty nine and a half years...!!!!!!!!! 🤣
You might have inspired Home Alone 2: Lost in New York!
🤣 Love this comment, Chris!!!! 🤣
I also recall getting lost as a child - a very scary experience! Shudder. (Although I have an excellent sense of direction these days.)
And I often walk dogs for other people. I took one to the dog park one day and let it off the lead. It looked at me like I was nuts then pushed against me until I put the lead back on, then bounded off as fast as it could, looking absolutely thrilled to be there. I’m sure some dogs think we’d be lost without them to show us the way!
Another emotional, heartfelt, terrific read. Thanks so much. 🤗😘🥰
Thanks so much, Beth! It's interesting that getting lost as a child doesn't necessarily mean that that's going to feature in adulthood. It would be nice if my getting lost so much as a child had meant that I had worked on my sense of direction to improve it. I wonder why I didn't?
That's such a lovely story about the dog you were walking. Courage in company, right? I think there's some of that in all of us.
Thank you so much for reading, Beth, and for really making me think about this stuff. Perfect!
I think you either have a sense of direction or you don’t. It’s just a built-in feature. (Like the ability for maths. Or creativity.)
I drove a boyfriend to his home city one time. We explored all sorts of places on the way and when we got to the main highway I turned left. He said No you’re driving the wrong way! I live here, I know better than you. So I turned around and five kilometres later he was forced to admit that I’d been right and he was wrong. My body just knows. Thankfully.
(Getting lost as a kid involved rock ledges and dense bush and older relatives who just assumed I’d recognise the back of a house I’d never been to before! I found it but it was very scary.)
That's brilliant, Beth! You showed him! 🤣 Jim's the same - he's tuned in to places he's never been before. By default he seems to know which way round he is all the time - I don't know if it's vibrations, or the sun (he's always telling me about the sun, bless him, and I still don't understand it). I'm doing a lot of reading around how finding your way works...!
Rock ledges and dense bush - gosh, those are really scary surroundings. Being out there lost and alone would be a nightmare!
When I was about the same age I left a social function at the huge downtown church where we went when I was a kid, to have an explore. This was a posh old gothic built on five floors, and it had a rickety elevator that was enticing and terrifying to me--a Tim Burton creation from the steampunk hall of fame. I hopped aboard, managed to pull the gate closed and punched a button. Up up up I creaked to the top floor of the church, and then...I couldn’t open the gate. Then the lights went off. I thought I was trapped forever, and collapsed sobbing on the floor. After interminable lonely time passed, I heard footsteps, and then the elevator door opened. It was my mom, who missed me at the church meeting went looking for me. She must have followed the sound of my tears to rescue me from the elevator of doom. I still think of her ability to find me as proof of the supernatural powers of motherhood. I was so relieved to see her! I still am, just thinking of that moment when the door swung open and it wasn’t a monster, but my mom!
Oh goodness me, Peter - you had me right on the edge of my seat! Yay to supermom - how wonderful that her sixth sense kicked in and she came to rescue you. You've summed up 'lost' for me in these two words: 'interminably lonely'.
Yay for a happy ending!
I think you did right by calling your 'stack "Reader, I'm Lost," rather than "Reader, I'm Interminably Lonely." You might have gotten the wrong kind of "friends."
🤣 You've just spilt my glass of wine, Peter...! 🤣
I loved the ET story the first time around and it was just as lovely.
I’ve not spent much time with dogs, really. Just my partner’s family dog, and my sibling’s dog, both of whom died some time ago. But I do remember both of them looking back at me when we’d be out in the yard, off-leash, and making sure I was following along properly.
Thank you so much for the second read, Alison - that means a lot! How lovely!
I didn't grow up around dogs, but Jim had one when I met him - he was lovely. That part about 'looking back at me... and making sure I was following along properly' - actually, Jim and his dog were both always checking that each other was there - both ways. They had such a bond.
It certainly seems that safety, security and comfort are not just human needs.
Thank you for sharing 'Lost in space aged eight' again! I enjoyed all of this!
It sounds like a visceral memory!
Thanks, Jess! And you're right, I can still feel those feelings deep in my core - it's extraordinary!
Wow, how scary! Reminds me of the time when as a child, I followed our dog who’d escaped the yard. I just wandered around the neighborhood with her until I suddenly didn’t recognize where I was and got scared. Eventually my older brother showed up on his bike and I rode home with him. Rescued by a Mike in shining armor!
"Mike in shining armor" - that's so lovely, Jen! Big brothers are a great gift - I wouldn't trade mine for anyone. 😊
Your inadvertent adventure in the company of your dog is really interesting - were you trying to get her back into the yard, or were you joining her on her escapade? I'm interested because it's perhaps the fact that you were in her company - that she gave you courage - that you felt able to follow her? Canine influence. You trusted her, and perhaps you knew subsconsciously that in being in her company you would be okay.
(Does that make sense?)
Hope you and Bryan have got sunshine today. Thinking of you both!
That must have been terrifying. A good cry was probably therapeutic. When my son was 8 he was in a play and instead of being on stage he went thru the wrong door, ended up in an alley, also in the rain, but luckily ran around to the front of the theatre and was able to enter. He still gave a hilarious performance.
Gosh, I love this story! Amazing of your son to have held it together - I'd've been a total mess! Kudos! 🙌
I love your NYC adventure. And, isn’t it amazing how music has the ability totally transport us?!
Awww, thank you! Actually I know you've recently come across the story already - thank you for reading it again, Jillian!
Music is soooo evocative. Other things, too, like scents. My favourite flower is JUST now on the verge of blooming - lilies of the valley have such an amazing fragrance, and just the smell transports me to being a tiny girl in my bed in my tiny pink bedroom, with an old glass scent bottle with just three stems of my favourite flower in it right next to me on my bedside table. Mum used to pick them for me and put them by my bed as a lovely surprise. That's such a special memory (entirely removed from getting lost, actually!). The important things that we remember are so, so strong even decades on, aren't they?