I relate to a lot. I do have a bit of a routine as in: I start the day with my morning pages. Mostly first thing but then there are the days when that is not possible. I like routine. But I also hate routine because I need change and excitement just as much. When the autistic brain fights the ADHD brain in my case.
For me often, things I like to do fall by the wayside because the daily tasks of things that need to be done don’t leave enough time for that joy. Often in order to do ‘my thing’ and other thing won’t get done. So yeah a struggle.
Thanks, Melanie! I love routine but at the same time I enjoy the fact that my life is so random. Two sides, just like you! The way I see it, I can steer most of my life - the ‘have tos’ - with the autopilot of routine, and that makes things predictable and stress free - I just need seamless integration with all the ‘want tos’! It’s a balancing act where the sides of the scales are never equal. One day...
One of the most important lessons I've learned in my writing journey is "all things in due time". Some things just can't be forced, and it sounds like you've come to terms with that. I know exactly what you mean :) It will happen when you're ready and it will be great, no doubt.
I've always wondered what a "banger" was in the culinary world and now I know. Thanks for some over-the-pond education! :)
It’s funny - I decided I wanted to write, then I decided I wanted to write a BOOK, then I found such enjoyment in writing posts here on Substack that I’m delighted to stick with what I’m doing!
Sounds like you have a good approach. After spending so much time on my book, I am struggling with the details of what I will do next. I spent every day on the book and now I have time I did not have. I will still write here on Substack and do some technical articles too. We will see what happens.
I loved the glimpse of your bullet journal! It looks so tidy and organized, which is already a pretty amazing feat! I like to think structure in my notebooks leads to structure in my life, but it never works that way:)
Thanks, Jillian! I’m fortunate that I have quite neat handwriting when I’m trying - you should see the state of my pocket notebook, though - it’s a right mess!
I think the act of keeping a notebook - having a regular practice in that respect - provides structure by default. Please say it’s so!!!
Thanks, Mark! I glad that I find structure in my LACK of structure - the parts of my life that I live through those predictable ‘microroutines’ are very highly structured thanks to my bullet journal practice - yet at the same time they’re all still hanging off that random piece of stretchy knitting...!
Writing this post was really useful - I’ve learned all sorts of stuff about myself!
That novel of yours isn’t languishing - it’s just on holiday for a bit, until you welcome it home! There, doesn’t that feel better? 😃
1. Planned procrastination: reminds me of the statement by a Zen master called Suzuki: A Zen student must learn to waste time conscientiously.
2. I start my day, or the night before, writing out a to-do list. This is now 48 pages long. So I now add a second to-do list, which is stuff I want to achieve today. Most of that gets ignored or set aside because things happen. But I do try to do something towards any long-term goals I have. For example, one of my goals is to get back into music again. Time and caring duties have mitigated against this up till now, but it now seems possible. So one of the things I try to do most days is find a bit of time to work out how I would play a certain song, or what the best key would be. That in itself isn't the same as going to an open mic event, but without doing such prep I will never have the self-confidence to go to such an event in the first place!
3. The one thing I do find not very good is when I have a book to review, but no deadline for it. Even though I stress about deadlines I get much more done if I have them.
Rebecca, What you're actually describing is the difference between "invention" and the study of "craft". As writers, we must keep these two separate--or we lose the invention. I talk about this here: https://marytabor.substack.com/p/inspiration-versus-perspiration A free post! I know, I know, you hate paid posts, but anyone who writes me at marytabor@sustack.com or who replies to my thread (Is that also chat? Golly, I'm confused about that!) GETS A FREE WEEK! Love, Mary
Thanks, Mary! I'm really happy that I've recognised the distinction - I'm seeing the world through different eyes already. I appreciate all your posts, and your support!
I'm confused about chat too. So far I've been steering clear - I've got far too much to keep a handle on already - LOL! 🙂
Great post Rebecca! I procrastinate on walking! I'm supposed to walk daily. Besides being good for your health, it clears my head. But I have so much to do during the day, I don't have time to walk. It will cut into my time so much. I have to do it tomorrow though. The mail hasn't been checked in several days. So I'll enjoy my nice walk over to the mail kiosk. It will be short. It only takes me 6 minutes to and from the condo.
As for a daily list, I don't have one. On occasion, I do write down what I need to accomplish. It's mostly in my head.
As for your book, the time will come when you can get back to it. I have several fiction books "in-progress", one being 50,000 words and I haven't touched them in a few years. Like you, I got on Substack and everything went on the back burner.
Whenever you talk about having a log of what you did, I always want to ask you what you did on some particular day. Maybe that could be a topic for you to talk about sometime. You could pick a date at random and tell us about that day. Just a suggestion. 😀
Thanks for your great reply, Matt. It's funny, isn't it, how it's the things that we need to do for our own wellbeing are often the things that we don't prioritise? Your walking, I mean. It's the same for me, too.
Gosh, I love what you've said in your last paragraph there! Thank you for the idea. Like some kind of notebook lotto!
I'm just reaching for my archive now - let's call this a sneak preview for a future post! Here we are - let's have a look at this date two years ago. I'll stick to five things in the page and a half of A5 that represented 13/11/20, on pages 81 and 82:
1. John to LFI - gas pipes as well! Switch, hose + gas (I was closing down my workshop at the time. The electrician I'd asked to disconnect the power system had agreed to deal with the gas fittings too. RESULT!)
2. Investigate weighted blankets - 10% body weight (That was a to-do, followed by the result of my research once I'd to-done.)
3. Forgot to wash my hair!
4. Dr Jacob appt now a video consultation - they've texted to say they've written to me (Yeah, well it ended up as a phone call instead - Dr Jacob turned out not to be terribly au fait with the video system!)
5. Vouchers p71 (I had to look at p71 to find out what this was about! Ah yes, three companies who were at the time lucky enough to have my details on their mailing list had each sent me a voucher because it was my birthday month, and I'd listed the details on p71. The note on p81 was simply a reminder to spend them! It's interesting to look back on this entry, actually, because I'm no longer on any company mailing lists. These days I refuse to be led into financial temptation.)
I'm not sure how terribly interesting this was to anyone other than me - but gosh, Matt, I really loved looking back! I'm going to have a look at today's date LAST year too, now (don't worry, I'm not going to report back on that one here. You've probably had enough of my life knitting for now).
UPDATE: Everything from 'Deal with blister' to 'XXX has had a Covid house guest and was in the village shop today WHILE JIM WAS THERE'. I remember now - I was so, so cross. Jim's immunosuppressed so this could have been an extremely big deal for us.
Wow! What a response Rebecca. I like how you came up with name, notebook lotto. That's a good one. I almost put my birthday up there but then I opted to allow you to pick the random date. This is all very interesting. LOL on #3. 🤣 I enjoyed reading about your day. This way, we can get an idea of what you write down, which is a lot.
I hear you on the Covid incident. My Mom has a medical issue where she cannot come in contact with Covid. It will be bad if she does. I try so hard to protect her from it. So I know how you feel about that.
LOL Matt - you're so kind! I think I'm going to be having some fun with this...!
Re the Covid thing - that chap should not have even come into the (tiny!) shop when there was already a customer in there, let alone have even been out of his HOUSE if he had an infected person at home. Oh well. Out of all of our friends and relations we're still doing the least mixing socially - and we're almost the only people we know who have NOT yet had it. We might feel a bit silly going round in our masks still (we're very, very much in the minority over here with that now) but despite the immunological challenges neither of us has gone down with so much as a cold since the start of 2020. Let's hope that continues! 🤣
We might feel silly still wearing masks but we are possibly saving our lives. There's only a few people that are wearing masks now in the places I go. If I'm going down the grocery aisle and someone without a mask starts sneezing or coughing, I turn the cart around and go to another aisle and come back there when it's clear.
Thank you for such lovely words, Jack! I wonder about the squirrels, actually. I think every creature has its own pressures, inevitably related to its survival and proliferation of its species.
We feed a blackbird outside our kitchen door - he's got used to our routine and is always waiting on the doormat from the moment he hears me put the kettle on for that first cuppa of the day. Sometimes he's preoccupied and ignores his breakfast. Sometimes he's late and ravenous. Sometimes he's vocal, sometimes he isn't. Sometimes he's there for only a moment and then whizzes off to deal with whatever else is on his list, and sometimes he's there for five or ten minutes at a time. This morning he was staring at me balefully for such a long time from the brick he likes to perch on underneath the bay tree that I had to ask him 'What's YOUR problem?'. No reply, of course. Keepin' me guessing...
I've no clue what's going on in his brain, or what he's got on his daily log, but I bet it's both epic and impressive!
Lovely xx. While there is something to the idea of making time for writing (ie committing to 15 min of day and seeing what happens), there is also a place for letting things percolate, steep: giving our minds space to breathe, look at clouds, and connect the dots subconsciously.
Thanks, Bryn! You’re right - that breathing space is so important, isn’t it? Calms things down or gees things up, generates ideas or slows them down when they’re coming too fast. Thank you so much. 😃
I've delayed in commenting because I have been ruminating on all you wrote here, Rebecca, and what a great help it was for me! Last week after Substack's announcement of badges for "the successful" Substack writers, I began to doubt why I was even here. Why put those words out there? Why spend time on something not many people actually read.
Then I got out of the comparison game and reminded myself that I'm writing because I enjoy sharing my stories with others. Period. If that's 2 people or 200, what does it matter? It's the act of showing up and releasing the words that give me the reason for being here.
Your post has set me thinking even further on this topic. For years a certain family member has hounded me about writing a book. Well, I don't *want* to write a book right now. It's still simmering and not ready to be written. Thanks for validating that for me! I, too, show up here to incorporate writing into my daily routine (which, like yours, is a laughable definition of "routine"), practicing, and "building that stretchy piece of life-knitting one loop - one task - one post - at a time."
I love the analogy of life being all the "little loops of yarn holding" it together, however "flimsy, gappy, [and] stretchy" that may be.
p.s. I love The Wonderful World of Mustard! How fun!
Holly, I really appreciate your comment here - I'm so glad that my post has given you validation for what you know to be the right decision for you right now!
'Releasing the words' - yes, yes, yes! That's what it's about, isn't it? You're so right that it's not that we're seeking followers (or badges - no thank you!) but at the same time, writing in the knowledge that someone out there is reading the words is such an encouragement.
Mr Mustard and his gang are great, aren't they? Jim and I always have a little moment when we're turning over the calendar to the new month - Sam's pictures and words know exactly where to hit. I'm so glad you had a look!
I have to have a written list of what I need to do or I just forget to do things. And you'll get to your book. I'm finally finishing one and it's a collection of stuff I've written for my blog for the last seven years. There is a lot of revision happening, but all that writing does eventually do something for you 😊
Thanks so much, Sarah! I love that you’re turning your blog into a book - that’s amazing. Revision is literally my favourite part - every post I write (that’s my least favourite bit - I’m bonkers!) spends the following several days being revised, revised, revised! IS that bonkers?!
Nope. It's why I work so hard to have my stuff completed weeks in advance. I want the time to add and revise if necessary 😉 You should see all of the revisions I've done on my beta draft thanks to my beta reading team.
I relate to a lot. I do have a bit of a routine as in: I start the day with my morning pages. Mostly first thing but then there are the days when that is not possible. I like routine. But I also hate routine because I need change and excitement just as much. When the autistic brain fights the ADHD brain in my case.
For me often, things I like to do fall by the wayside because the daily tasks of things that need to be done don’t leave enough time for that joy. Often in order to do ‘my thing’ and other thing won’t get done. So yeah a struggle.
Thanks, Melanie! I love routine but at the same time I enjoy the fact that my life is so random. Two sides, just like you! The way I see it, I can steer most of my life - the ‘have tos’ - with the autopilot of routine, and that makes things predictable and stress free - I just need seamless integration with all the ‘want tos’! It’s a balancing act where the sides of the scales are never equal. One day...
One of the most important lessons I've learned in my writing journey is "all things in due time". Some things just can't be forced, and it sounds like you've come to terms with that. I know exactly what you mean :) It will happen when you're ready and it will be great, no doubt.
I've always wondered what a "banger" was in the culinary world and now I know. Thanks for some over-the-pond education! :)
LOL, Mark - I LOVE a banger!
It’s funny - I decided I wanted to write, then I decided I wanted to write a BOOK, then I found such enjoyment in writing posts here on Substack that I’m delighted to stick with what I’m doing!
All in good time, as you say. 😃
Sounds like you have a good approach. After spending so much time on my book, I am struggling with the details of what I will do next. I spent every day on the book and now I have time I did not have. I will still write here on Substack and do some technical articles too. We will see what happens.
I reckon you’ve earned a spot of downtime, Scott, after that immense achievement! I really enjoy your writing. 😃
I hear you! It’s such a surprisingly tough transition from writing a book to being done writing the book.
I loved the glimpse of your bullet journal! It looks so tidy and organized, which is already a pretty amazing feat! I like to think structure in my notebooks leads to structure in my life, but it never works that way:)
Thanks, Jillian! I’m fortunate that I have quite neat handwriting when I’m trying - you should see the state of my pocket notebook, though - it’s a right mess!
I think the act of keeping a notebook - having a regular practice in that respect - provides structure by default. Please say it’s so!!!
Brilliant post. I am fortunate to have structure via my job, though at times i can be a weird structure, but my weeks generally follow a pattern.
I've got a languishing novel manuscript that occasionally whines at me, I feel some of your pain.
Thanks, Mark! I glad that I find structure in my LACK of structure - the parts of my life that I live through those predictable ‘microroutines’ are very highly structured thanks to my bullet journal practice - yet at the same time they’re all still hanging off that random piece of stretchy knitting...!
Writing this post was really useful - I’ve learned all sorts of stuff about myself!
That novel of yours isn’t languishing - it’s just on holiday for a bit, until you welcome it home! There, doesn’t that feel better? 😃
Great post, Rebecca. I have a few thoughts:
1. Planned procrastination: reminds me of the statement by a Zen master called Suzuki: A Zen student must learn to waste time conscientiously.
2. I start my day, or the night before, writing out a to-do list. This is now 48 pages long. So I now add a second to-do list, which is stuff I want to achieve today. Most of that gets ignored or set aside because things happen. But I do try to do something towards any long-term goals I have. For example, one of my goals is to get back into music again. Time and caring duties have mitigated against this up till now, but it now seems possible. So one of the things I try to do most days is find a bit of time to work out how I would play a certain song, or what the best key would be. That in itself isn't the same as going to an open mic event, but without doing such prep I will never have the self-confidence to go to such an event in the first place!
3. The one thing I do find not very good is when I have a book to review, but no deadline for it. Even though I stress about deadlines I get much more done if I have them.
Great strategies, Terry! I love how you're incorporating music back into your life after time away from it - that's wonderful!
Deadlines are great for focus, but oooooh, the pressure! Again, it's a balancing act, isn't it?
Indeed, Rebecca. As for music, the world needs to yet again hear from Dr Tel
It certainly does!
LOL. You're just humoring me aren't you? Just remember I am going to be writing a review of your hubby's book...
Aaaaaaand you've seen straight through me! 😉🤣
🤣
Rebecca, What you're actually describing is the difference between "invention" and the study of "craft". As writers, we must keep these two separate--or we lose the invention. I talk about this here: https://marytabor.substack.com/p/inspiration-versus-perspiration A free post! I know, I know, you hate paid posts, but anyone who writes me at marytabor@sustack.com or who replies to my thread (Is that also chat? Golly, I'm confused about that!) GETS A FREE WEEK! Love, Mary
Thanks, Mary! I'm really happy that I've recognised the distinction - I'm seeing the world through different eyes already. I appreciate all your posts, and your support!
I'm confused about chat too. So far I've been steering clear - I've got far too much to keep a handle on already - LOL! 🙂
Great post Rebecca! I procrastinate on walking! I'm supposed to walk daily. Besides being good for your health, it clears my head. But I have so much to do during the day, I don't have time to walk. It will cut into my time so much. I have to do it tomorrow though. The mail hasn't been checked in several days. So I'll enjoy my nice walk over to the mail kiosk. It will be short. It only takes me 6 minutes to and from the condo.
As for a daily list, I don't have one. On occasion, I do write down what I need to accomplish. It's mostly in my head.
As for your book, the time will come when you can get back to it. I have several fiction books "in-progress", one being 50,000 words and I haven't touched them in a few years. Like you, I got on Substack and everything went on the back burner.
Whenever you talk about having a log of what you did, I always want to ask you what you did on some particular day. Maybe that could be a topic for you to talk about sometime. You could pick a date at random and tell us about that day. Just a suggestion. 😀
Thanks for your great reply, Matt. It's funny, isn't it, how it's the things that we need to do for our own wellbeing are often the things that we don't prioritise? Your walking, I mean. It's the same for me, too.
Gosh, I love what you've said in your last paragraph there! Thank you for the idea. Like some kind of notebook lotto!
I'm just reaching for my archive now - let's call this a sneak preview for a future post! Here we are - let's have a look at this date two years ago. I'll stick to five things in the page and a half of A5 that represented 13/11/20, on pages 81 and 82:
1. John to LFI - gas pipes as well! Switch, hose + gas (I was closing down my workshop at the time. The electrician I'd asked to disconnect the power system had agreed to deal with the gas fittings too. RESULT!)
2. Investigate weighted blankets - 10% body weight (That was a to-do, followed by the result of my research once I'd to-done.)
3. Forgot to wash my hair!
4. Dr Jacob appt now a video consultation - they've texted to say they've written to me (Yeah, well it ended up as a phone call instead - Dr Jacob turned out not to be terribly au fait with the video system!)
5. Vouchers p71 (I had to look at p71 to find out what this was about! Ah yes, three companies who were at the time lucky enough to have my details on their mailing list had each sent me a voucher because it was my birthday month, and I'd listed the details on p71. The note on p81 was simply a reminder to spend them! It's interesting to look back on this entry, actually, because I'm no longer on any company mailing lists. These days I refuse to be led into financial temptation.)
I'm not sure how terribly interesting this was to anyone other than me - but gosh, Matt, I really loved looking back! I'm going to have a look at today's date LAST year too, now (don't worry, I'm not going to report back on that one here. You've probably had enough of my life knitting for now).
UPDATE: Everything from 'Deal with blister' to 'XXX has had a Covid house guest and was in the village shop today WHILE JIM WAS THERE'. I remember now - I was so, so cross. Jim's immunosuppressed so this could have been an extremely big deal for us.
Wow! What a response Rebecca. I like how you came up with name, notebook lotto. That's a good one. I almost put my birthday up there but then I opted to allow you to pick the random date. This is all very interesting. LOL on #3. 🤣 I enjoyed reading about your day. This way, we can get an idea of what you write down, which is a lot.
I hear you on the Covid incident. My Mom has a medical issue where she cannot come in contact with Covid. It will be bad if she does. I try so hard to protect her from it. So I know how you feel about that.
LOL Matt - you're so kind! I think I'm going to be having some fun with this...!
Re the Covid thing - that chap should not have even come into the (tiny!) shop when there was already a customer in there, let alone have even been out of his HOUSE if he had an infected person at home. Oh well. Out of all of our friends and relations we're still doing the least mixing socially - and we're almost the only people we know who have NOT yet had it. We might feel a bit silly going round in our masks still (we're very, very much in the minority over here with that now) but despite the immunological challenges neither of us has gone down with so much as a cold since the start of 2020. Let's hope that continues! 🤣
We might feel silly still wearing masks but we are possibly saving our lives. There's only a few people that are wearing masks now in the places I go. If I'm going down the grocery aisle and someone without a mask starts sneezing or coughing, I turn the cart around and go to another aisle and come back there when it's clear.
We're all lost in some way...at least, that's what I believe.
Some days are darker and more cluttered...
Some days we seem to float on autopilot...
And some days, orientation can only happen post-daily tasks.
I wonder if this is a human-only condition,
Or do you suppose a squirrel feels sometimes driven by too much detail?
I hope you find enough enthusiasm to renew your book project - I think the words inside your head need to come out and dance in the world.
Thank you for such lovely words, Jack! I wonder about the squirrels, actually. I think every creature has its own pressures, inevitably related to its survival and proliferation of its species.
We feed a blackbird outside our kitchen door - he's got used to our routine and is always waiting on the doormat from the moment he hears me put the kettle on for that first cuppa of the day. Sometimes he's preoccupied and ignores his breakfast. Sometimes he's late and ravenous. Sometimes he's vocal, sometimes he isn't. Sometimes he's there for only a moment and then whizzes off to deal with whatever else is on his list, and sometimes he's there for five or ten minutes at a time. This morning he was staring at me balefully for such a long time from the brick he likes to perch on underneath the bay tree that I had to ask him 'What's YOUR problem?'. No reply, of course. Keepin' me guessing...
I've no clue what's going on in his brain, or what he's got on his daily log, but I bet it's both epic and impressive!
Lovely xx. While there is something to the idea of making time for writing (ie committing to 15 min of day and seeing what happens), there is also a place for letting things percolate, steep: giving our minds space to breathe, look at clouds, and connect the dots subconsciously.
Thanks, Bryn! You’re right - that breathing space is so important, isn’t it? Calms things down or gees things up, generates ideas or slows them down when they’re coming too fast. Thank you so much. 😃
I've delayed in commenting because I have been ruminating on all you wrote here, Rebecca, and what a great help it was for me! Last week after Substack's announcement of badges for "the successful" Substack writers, I began to doubt why I was even here. Why put those words out there? Why spend time on something not many people actually read.
Then I got out of the comparison game and reminded myself that I'm writing because I enjoy sharing my stories with others. Period. If that's 2 people or 200, what does it matter? It's the act of showing up and releasing the words that give me the reason for being here.
Your post has set me thinking even further on this topic. For years a certain family member has hounded me about writing a book. Well, I don't *want* to write a book right now. It's still simmering and not ready to be written. Thanks for validating that for me! I, too, show up here to incorporate writing into my daily routine (which, like yours, is a laughable definition of "routine"), practicing, and "building that stretchy piece of life-knitting one loop - one task - one post - at a time."
I love the analogy of life being all the "little loops of yarn holding" it together, however "flimsy, gappy, [and] stretchy" that may be.
p.s. I love The Wonderful World of Mustard! How fun!
Holly, I really appreciate your comment here - I'm so glad that my post has given you validation for what you know to be the right decision for you right now!
'Releasing the words' - yes, yes, yes! That's what it's about, isn't it? You're so right that it's not that we're seeking followers (or badges - no thank you!) but at the same time, writing in the knowledge that someone out there is reading the words is such an encouragement.
Mr Mustard and his gang are great, aren't they? Jim and I always have a little moment when we're turning over the calendar to the new month - Sam's pictures and words know exactly where to hit. I'm so glad you had a look!
Happy belated birthday, Rebecca! I think you are doing just fine! :-)
Awwww, thanks, Amy!!! ☺️
I have to have a written list of what I need to do or I just forget to do things. And you'll get to your book. I'm finally finishing one and it's a collection of stuff I've written for my blog for the last seven years. There is a lot of revision happening, but all that writing does eventually do something for you 😊
Thanks so much, Sarah! I love that you’re turning your blog into a book - that’s amazing. Revision is literally my favourite part - every post I write (that’s my least favourite bit - I’m bonkers!) spends the following several days being revised, revised, revised! IS that bonkers?!
Nope. It's why I work so hard to have my stuff completed weeks in advance. I want the time to add and revise if necessary 😉 You should see all of the revisions I've done on my beta draft thanks to my beta reading team.
Oooooh, good to know! Thanks!