I do hope they got the job 😁😁 As usual a lovely article this week Rebecca. I am now going to search out The Lady. It was never on my reading list. Although I think it may have been on my Mother’s. 😁😘
The 2023 edition is nothing like what I remember of the copy which my boss had flung at me over 25 years ago - I've enjoyed reading it - oh, and the puzzles at the back are AWESOME! Sadly the May 2025 edition is the last one they'll ever print, but I gather that it's still going to be published online.
I might have a look at the lonely hearts section - not for the benefit of my own life arrangements, mind, but just to see if any stories come to mind!
I remember buying The Lady when I was thinking of relocating as a PA years ago. It was considered to be very upmarket or for ‘posh people’. Great read, Rebecca.
YES! And that was the kind of work I was looking for, too, in the late 90s, so I'd come across it once or twice. It was the sort of thing to only read on the Tube if it was hidden between the pages of Cosmopolitan or TimeOut, though.......! Y'know, street cred....! 😉
Oh this is delicious! What a well-told tale; you must have been in stitches! It nourishes all my stereotypes of upper class British life. It also sets me up perfectly for going to Glyndebourne again at the end of the month!
Can you tell us what happened? I assume you had to interview someone else? I can't imagine a non-English speaker going down very well at the time.
HA! Yes, to nourishing those stereotypes, Sabrina! 🤣
Oh wow, Glyndebourne! And during the Festival, too - how absolutely brilliant! Will you be in the area for long, or is it a flying visit just for the show?
I didn't have to interview anyone else for the role. Turned out my boss and his wife had other plans. x
We don't have any magazines like that in Canada. The closest thing to it would be "Chatelaine", the chief publication for women, but it's focused more on the middle class than the uppers...
To be honest, I think print media has rather averaged itself out in the intervening period, because - apart from the adverts for household staff and the section for very posh people to find love with other posh people - the 2023 edition I have here seems much more middle class than the terrifyingly upper class read which I'd come across two and three decades ago!
That advert from the 2023 magazine! How absolutely, egocentrically blind to think that a woman with ALL THOSE SKILLS would apply to be a housekeeper! So very redonkulous. And your boss - what an utter ass. I do hope he paid you well, sweet girl. We have come a long way, but not nearly far enough nor fast enough. I loved this post.
Thanks, Sharron! I agree with everything you've said!
You should see what's in the 'Personals' column - it's glorious! Here's an example (some details redacted for courtesy):
Retired professional lady aged ___, keen tennis player, WLTM kind, successful gentleman based in ______ to start a new chapter. Admiral or Professor preferred but not essential.
HAHAHAHA! This was a delight, but you left out the best part. Did your boss hire them. And, oh my goodness, how about The Mrs.' response? I guess no one really needs to talk to the husband. Just drive the car, Max!
Incredible story, Rebecca! I'd love to know if they got the job!! As far as your Boss' attitude toward the status of women in society....well, I worked in a male-dominated environment for 20 years, and learned early, that the one who writes the paycheck, is the one who makes the rules, but it didn't keep that fact from chapping my hide, from time to time. (:
Thanks, Carissa! And yes, very dated! I think that's why they've just published their very last print edition. 'Country Life' still exists - that's rather different to 'The Lady', but if I recall correctly, right near the front there is always a full-page photograph of an eligible young lady - generally a daughter of one of the landed gentry - wearing silk, tweed and/or pearls, with some words about her background and ambitions.
HA! Well, I called him lots of things under my breath, Prue, put it that way! He wasn't all bad, though, although I'll admit that this story paints him in a very negative light.
This was so good, Rebecca! I'd love to have a copy of The Lady, to read in context about what has changed and what has stayed the same in the etiquette world. Your boss sounds like an interesting fellow, similar to a friend of mine's boss, who asks those kinds of things of her, too, including picking up his children from school, taking them to appointments, picking up his dry cleaning, etc. while his wife plays tennis. Tradition has been stretched thin, the "good" and the "bad", depending on semantics a lot of the time. I love your retelling of, well, everything!
Thanks, Mary! This was such fun to recall and write! How well did your friend get on with her boss? I became decidedly grudging towards mine in the end!
I'm wondering whether to seek out a much, much older edition of the magazine so I can compare and contrast with this more modern copy I've already got. Actually, this one contains an article about how the magazine had covered the coronation of King George VI and Queen Elizabeth (the late Queen Elizabeth's parents) in 1937.
And there's a 'Modern Manners' column featuring what to do about gossip, how to behave on an aeroplane and whether children should give up their seat to adults on public transport (seems not every reader of 'The Lady' has a chauffeur-driven Bentley after all!)!
You're welcome, Rebecca, and my friend is still working for him, still running errands, taking his cars into be serviced, picking up new license plates, and what not. She's good natured about it! I love reading about Modern Manners - so interesting! Debrett's latest emailed newsletter was "The A-Z of the Modern Gentleman". I think women would also benefit from reading the A-Z. 😁
She’s the best, so kind and gentle. She used to be a surgical nurse, is now pregnant with her first, the due date is my birthday! She and her husband are so excited. ❤️
I do hope they got the job 😁😁 As usual a lovely article this week Rebecca. I am now going to search out The Lady. It was never on my reading list. Although I think it may have been on my Mother’s. 😁😘
The 2023 edition is nothing like what I remember of the copy which my boss had flung at me over 25 years ago - I've enjoyed reading it - oh, and the puzzles at the back are AWESOME! Sadly the May 2025 edition is the last one they'll ever print, but I gather that it's still going to be published online.
I might have a look at the lonely hearts section - not for the benefit of my own life arrangements, mind, but just to see if any stories come to mind!
What happened next??? Oooh, the suspense!!!
Cliffhanger, right?! 😉
I remember buying The Lady when I was thinking of relocating as a PA years ago. It was considered to be very upmarket or for ‘posh people’. Great read, Rebecca.
YES! And that was the kind of work I was looking for, too, in the late 90s, so I'd come across it once or twice. It was the sort of thing to only read on the Tube if it was hidden between the pages of Cosmopolitan or TimeOut, though.......! Y'know, street cred....! 😉
🤣👍
Oh this is delicious! What a well-told tale; you must have been in stitches! It nourishes all my stereotypes of upper class British life. It also sets me up perfectly for going to Glyndebourne again at the end of the month!
Can you tell us what happened? I assume you had to interview someone else? I can't imagine a non-English speaker going down very well at the time.
HA! Yes, to nourishing those stereotypes, Sabrina! 🤣
Oh wow, Glyndebourne! And during the Festival, too - how absolutely brilliant! Will you be in the area for long, or is it a flying visit just for the show?
I didn't have to interview anyone else for the role. Turned out my boss and his wife had other plans. x
It’s mostly flying but I’ll get in touch about potential meeting! I know you are very close by….
We don't have any magazines like that in Canada. The closest thing to it would be "Chatelaine", the chief publication for women, but it's focused more on the middle class than the uppers...
To be honest, I think print media has rather averaged itself out in the intervening period, because - apart from the adverts for household staff and the section for very posh people to find love with other posh people - the 2023 edition I have here seems much more middle class than the terrifyingly upper class read which I'd come across two and three decades ago!
That advert from the 2023 magazine! How absolutely, egocentrically blind to think that a woman with ALL THOSE SKILLS would apply to be a housekeeper! So very redonkulous. And your boss - what an utter ass. I do hope he paid you well, sweet girl. We have come a long way, but not nearly far enough nor fast enough. I loved this post.
Thanks, Sharron! I agree with everything you've said!
You should see what's in the 'Personals' column - it's glorious! Here's an example (some details redacted for courtesy):
Retired professional lady aged ___, keen tennis player, WLTM kind, successful gentleman based in ______ to start a new chapter. Admiral or Professor preferred but not essential.
HAHAHAHA! This was a delight, but you left out the best part. Did your boss hire them. And, oh my goodness, how about The Mrs.' response? I guess no one really needs to talk to the husband. Just drive the car, Max!
Thanks, Sue! And I couldn't possible say.....! 😉
I can't believe your boss wanted to go through so many steps before he decided on a couple.
You can't leave us hanging? Did the couple get the gig or was someone else chosen?
It was an idiotic approach, that's for sure!
Incredible story, Rebecca! I'd love to know if they got the job!! As far as your Boss' attitude toward the status of women in society....well, I worked in a male-dominated environment for 20 years, and learned early, that the one who writes the paycheck, is the one who makes the rules, but it didn't keep that fact from chapping my hide, from time to time. (:
He had some very odd ideas about things, let's put it that way, Sharon! Let's just say we parted company in the end, for our mutual benefit! 🤣
How did the couple work out? Success? Was the lack of English a problem?
Great story.
The Lady sounds very dated. Plaid skirts and Wellies? Sounds like it was published for the Royals and royal wannabes?
Thanks, Carissa! And yes, very dated! I think that's why they've just published their very last print edition. 'Country Life' still exists - that's rather different to 'The Lady', but if I recall correctly, right near the front there is always a full-page photograph of an eligible young lady - generally a daughter of one of the landed gentry - wearing silk, tweed and/or pearls, with some words about her background and ambitions.
Holy crap Rebecca, I can’t believe you’ve done this in your lifetime! This feels like a story from another age.
Me neither, as it happens, Tom! And you've really made me laugh - I appreciate it! 🤣
The word 'wanker' comes to mind for your boss (misogynist too).
But I'm sure he was a nice chap beneath all that...
As has been said, there's the basis for a wonderful novel there, Rebecca. Keep it in mind.
HA! Well, I called him lots of things under my breath, Prue, put it that way! He wasn't all bad, though, although I'll admit that this story paints him in a very negative light.
This was so good, Rebecca! I'd love to have a copy of The Lady, to read in context about what has changed and what has stayed the same in the etiquette world. Your boss sounds like an interesting fellow, similar to a friend of mine's boss, who asks those kinds of things of her, too, including picking up his children from school, taking them to appointments, picking up his dry cleaning, etc. while his wife plays tennis. Tradition has been stretched thin, the "good" and the "bad", depending on semantics a lot of the time. I love your retelling of, well, everything!
Thanks, Mary! This was such fun to recall and write! How well did your friend get on with her boss? I became decidedly grudging towards mine in the end!
I'm wondering whether to seek out a much, much older edition of the magazine so I can compare and contrast with this more modern copy I've already got. Actually, this one contains an article about how the magazine had covered the coronation of King George VI and Queen Elizabeth (the late Queen Elizabeth's parents) in 1937.
And there's a 'Modern Manners' column featuring what to do about gossip, how to behave on an aeroplane and whether children should give up their seat to adults on public transport (seems not every reader of 'The Lady' has a chauffeur-driven Bentley after all!)!
You're welcome, Rebecca, and my friend is still working for him, still running errands, taking his cars into be serviced, picking up new license plates, and what not. She's good natured about it! I love reading about Modern Manners - so interesting! Debrett's latest emailed newsletter was "The A-Z of the Modern Gentleman". I think women would also benefit from reading the A-Z. 😁
Your friend sounds great, and an invaluable wing-woman for her boss. Good for her!
She’s the best, so kind and gentle. She used to be a surgical nurse, is now pregnant with her first, the due date is my birthday! She and her husband are so excited. ❤️
Oh, fantastic!!!!!!!!!
Rebecca, what a great story! So funny. Did they ever get the job?