57 Comments

I am aghast at poor Denzil’s eviction from the car. 😮 Dropped from a tree, dated at by humans, and flung verge wise (hopefully by a wiper) his day could not have been more exciting!

Expand full comment
author

Nerves of steel, that snail, Tamsin! I am happy in the thought that Denzil's very well travelled and enjoys his trips here, there and everywhere!

Expand full comment

LOL

Expand full comment
Mar 23Liked by Rebecca Holden

Only you two could have a snail crawl across your vehicle's windshield. Ha ha!

And I do hope that Denzil is both all right and happily crawling around somewhere else.

Expand full comment
author

LOL - it was pretty unexpected, Olga!

I'm sure Denzil is happily living it large hundreds of miles away, having a caught a succession of lifts on a variety of vehicles in the years between then and now. Go, Denzil!

Expand full comment

Poor Denzel!!! (And Hamish the teapot eh? My sister’s first car was a VW Combi van called George.) Another wonderful read. Thanks so much. 🤗🤗😘

Expand full comment
author

Hamish the teapot was green - he went to university with me. 🫖 George is a great name for a van! Our VW Transporter is Shackleton - although for a while we did wonder about calling him Major Boothroyd (Jim eventually vetoed that madcap suggestion)!

Thanks so much for reading, Beth - I'm glad you enjoyed this crazy snail tale! 🐌

Expand full comment

“…his eyes on stalks…” Rebecca—you write marvelous and vivid and precious stories!!! I Ioved this one. Also, I’m a fellow namer of inanimate objects. 😊 My current car is named Beezus after “Ramona and Beezus” by Beverly Cleary.

Snails are a special one for me. They remind me of patient endurance, and I keep a tiny ceramic one on my windowsill to remind me to keep going. 🐌

Expand full comment
author

That's so kind of you, Erika - thank you!

Things have to have names, don't they? Beezus is a great name for a car! I think I'm bonkers for how far I take this sometimes - our TV table is Dillon, and my second-favourite chair is Smiler. 🤪

I love the sound of your ceramic snail. On a school trip once we went to a glassmaking studio and I watched the artist make tiny glass snails out of rods of clear glass. Much later I worked with hot glass myself, and remembered that trip with such pleasure. 🐌

Expand full comment

What if that was his game? Get flung from windshield wipers as an extreme sport for tiny molluscs? 🐌🪂

Expand full comment
author

🤣 Wow, Bryn - yes, Denzil's clearly a thrill-seeker in a shell! Go, Denzil!!!

Please accept these five gold stars for your emoji choices! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Expand full comment
Mar 23Liked by Rebecca Holden

Hey! Some of my best friends are "hardcore slughs." Fellow alums of UCSC. Here is John Travolta wearing our logo shirt https://www.filmgarb.com/vincent-vegas-uc-santa-cruz-shirt/ GO SLUGS!

I like to think that the tenacious Denzil went flying off the windscreen onto the verge where he began a new adventure. I have been flung off of a few metaphorical windscreens in my life and it did me world of good.

PS I love the construction of this phrase: "with a destination printed loud"

Such a clever, imaginative, slice of life post this morning.

Expand full comment
author
Mar 23·edited Mar 23Author

Ah yes, UCSC - Fiat slug! A friend at my university spent a year of her course there as part of an exchange programme - she had an absolute ball! When she first arrived over there she's sent each of her friends a postcard depicting that smily bright yellow slug of a mascot!

Those metaphorical windscreens of yours - well, I can totally relate. I'm glad to say that so far I've survived all the falls - as indeed have you. We're brave snails together, Sharron - I'm glad to have you along for the ride as we cling on to that wet windscreen in the wind!

Expand full comment
Mar 23Liked by Rebecca Holden

Wheeeeeeeee! The best is yet to come.

Expand full comment

I’m tickled by the “mild peril” content warning and the name Denzil! We hardly knew you, Denzil!

Expand full comment
author

Thanks, Jen! I wasn't too sure about including the word 'mild', actually, because for Denzil peril was definitely in play....!

Expand full comment

Oh my goodness, I didn't see that coming! My husband looked up with surprise when I let out a gasp while reading, lol. Poor Denzil. I hope he was flung somewhere with a soft landing. Great story! 💚

Expand full comment
author

Sorry to have alarmed you both, Sue! 🤣 I'm sure Denzil lives on and is enjoying his travels on a variety of vehicles! I like to imagine him on a bus - lots and lots of large windows to slither along... 🐌🚎

Expand full comment

so funny! Thanks for some giggles this morning!

Expand full comment
author

😊

Expand full comment

Thanks for mentioning my experiments posts! I enjoyed reading this: very humorous and heartwarming. A few points:

1. A slug is a homeless snail.

2. I always think, when I discover we've driven miles with, say, a spide hanging from the door handle, that the creature must be really teed off at the though of having to make its way back to his or her family and friends!

3. You set traps????😩 We try to RESCUE mice that have been caught by our resident murderers. They look sweet. By the way, we tried everything to get rid of mice, which were coming in because of building works next door, and the fields near the back of the house, and in the end the ONLY think that worked was the arrival of cats.

Expand full comment
author

Such a pleasure! And I'm so glad you enjoyed the read. 😊

1. Yup! In German a slug is called a 'Nacktschnecke', which means 'naked snail'.

2. I know what you mean. On my walks I like to rescue any earthworms that are threatened by being trodden underfoot or run over - I put them to the side of the path or road.... and then find the silly things heading back into danger. I should trust them in their own risk assessments and just let them get on with it, shouldn't I? 🪱

3. Not me. Not my mice. Not my house. Haven't seen a mouse here for yonks, but we do have a cute vole living in our compost bin - please don't set your cats on it, because I will be very upset if you do! For the record, humane traps are a tool TO rescue mice. Just saying... 🙄

Expand full comment

Interesting: I didn't know about the German.

We tried human traps (we wouldn't use the lethal variety), and the first mouse who saw it couldn't stop laughing and then brought along all his mates to laugh at it too.

Expand full comment
author

'Human' traps? How big WERE those mice, Terry?! 😉

Expand full comment

We like mice, because they look cute and sweet, so we thought we'd trap humans instead, ok?

Expand full comment
author

Are humans not cute and sweet enough for you, then? Humph. 🙄

Expand full comment

That slug got around : )

Expand full comment
Mar 23·edited Mar 23Liked by Rebecca Holden

I kept wondering when you two were going to figure that out!! 😂

Gotta love the Denzils of the world -- living life on the edge like that. I think of slugs as homeless snails. Helps me feel a bit more compassionate. Wish I could share the image of the one I found sliding across the wall just beside my head, as I lay propped up in bed. LOL! Maybe it, like Denzil, was the wandering sort.

Grateful for the post share, Rebecca, and for your ever-present curiosity!

Expand full comment
author

LOL!

'Living life on the edge' - yup, Denzil certainly ticked that box! But gosh, I'm not sure I'd like to find either a slug or a snail on my bedroom wall, and certainly nowhere near my head! 🤣

Expand full comment

Loved this story, very amusing!

I remember a time a very tiny black slug hitched its way into the house on the fur of one of my cats, I only found it because I always do a “tick-check” on him when he comes into the house. His fur was black and medium length. The slug was still in “Loki’s” fur. I lifted it out and looked at it on my finger. I decided to have a conversation with it. “It” told me about the art of camouflage. When I asked “why do you move so slowly?” It simply replied, “To conserve energy and not get dehydrated.” Hmmm, maybe some sage advice we could all do well with. I put him back outside in the wet grass.

I tried to choke off a laugh when Jim “absently turned on the wipers…”. OMG! (And, just like that, your entertainment was gone.) I’m sure you two will continue to recall your silliness at a future time watching the slug traverse the wind shield, then laugh all over again! Great fun!

Expand full comment
author

Oh, I love that you rescued Loki's slug, Gail! And that's excellent advice which it had shared with you - I'm a big fan of moving slowly, and it seems that your slug can back me up on why that's so sensible!

Expand full comment

🤗💛

Expand full comment

Oh, my! Too funny to think about the unexpected adventures of hitchhiking critters! The real upside for the humans is that these hitchhikers rode on the _outside_ of the vehicles. I'd be very alarmed if I drove along and a snail or a mouse made its way across my dashboard! I once put my jeep in park, jumped out in the middle of the road, pulled off my shoe, and started pounding furiously on the dash after a huge, creepy spider emerged from an air vent. Everyone who passed must have thought I was a lunatic (they would not be totally wrong ;-) It ran away and hid, and I had to drive around knowing it still lurked somewhere in the car.

Expand full comment
author

Oh goodness me, Jacquie, I don't really mind spiders, but I'd think twice about wanting to meet one coming out of my car's air vent.

I remember travelling on the tube one very rainy weekend in London - I'd left my raincoat at work and had grabbed a sporty waterproof jacket from the depths of a very dusty drawer. I was sitting on the tube minding my own business and thinking 'gosh, why is my hair so tickly?' while trying to remain nonchalant and not look really odd by scratching my itchy, tickly neck.... and not long after my 'hair' had stopped tickling me the woman sitting opposite me leapt up screaming and flung the very large novel she was reading onto the floor of the centre of the carriage. When she had stopped shaking enough to pick it up again, a squashed spider of insane proportions was revealed....

Yup. My tickly neck. 'My' spider. Oooooopsie. 👀

I got out at the next station to wait for the next train along. I wonder if she'd watched the thing crawl out of the neckline of my jacket and onto the floor? If so, I'm amazed she hadn't passed out.... 🤣

Expand full comment

Aaaahhh! Yikes :-[ I would have died (or at least caused an embarrassing scene)!!! I’m no fan of spiders, but as long as they leave me alone, I’ve agreed to a truce. But the minute they invade my personal space or, heaven forbid, crawl on me (shivers!), all bets are off!

Expand full comment
author

Yeah, sometimes too close is just too close, right?!

Expand full comment
Mar 23Liked by Rebecca Holden

Laugh out loudness, way beyond what "LOL" conveys. "Dressed in its spiral outfit, this mollusc benefits from better PR than its naked cousin, the latter to my mind having absolutely nothing to offer." I've encountered so many of each kind of cousin in my gardening years, hiding under hosta and other woodland plants. I wore gloves almost all the time when working in the woods just to avoid touching all that slimy softness. I hope Denzil escaped the wipers and flew off into a nearby, familiar neighborhood.

Expand full comment
author

Thanks so much, Mary!

I love creepy-crawlies in general, but where it comes to specifics I HATE the slimy ones - apart from worms, because they're legends - so slugs and snails aren't top of my list of creatures to make friends with. We're clearly kindred spirits (haven't I always said so?!)!!

Expand full comment
Mar 27Liked by Rebecca Holden

Yes, we are kindred spirits. I imagine if we gardened together and one of us said "Ick!" the other would know exactly why. 😅

Expand full comment
author

🤣 I reserve the right to shout something a LOT worse than 'Ick!'!!!!!!!!!!

Expand full comment

I absolutely love this post! Denzil's adventure would make a super Aardman sketch, complete with antennae blowing back. Can you imagine him telling his family about the journey when he finally dragged himself into the house (Of course he has a house! Complete with rugs, family portraits on the walls and occasional lamps), wiping the rain off his eye stalks and asking for a drink (not beer - that's lethal for snails) . His little kiddles, Walter and Harriet, would gaze at their father in awe, with their eyes (yes!) on stalks and Beatrice, his wife, would cluck and stir the nettle stew on the hob...

Expand full comment
author

Oh Prue, thank you - and your whole comment is adorable! I can imagine Denzil, Beatrice, Walter and Harriet cosying up together in their beautifully-appointed house - how gorgeous!

Remind me to tell you one day about the slug called Evangeline.... 😊

Expand full comment

Is that the same Evangeline whose husband is Edward?

Expand full comment
author

I don't know an Edward, but Evangeline is a character in a song which Jim wrote years ago, and she's a slug!

(I know. And I can't possibly explain....!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Expand full comment

I need to hear the words of that song. Also, we have Edward the slug in our veggie garden, and I thought he may have been married to Evangeline. I believe this Edward has two slimey little children called Enzo and Evelyn. Enzo is named after Great Uncle Enzo who single- handedly destroyed the great kale crop of 1924 in Erbezzo in the Veneto. Uncle Enzo's slug family emigrated to Australia on some leaves of kale aboard a ship. Fascinating story... ;)

Expand full comment
author

Prue, you need to publish these stories!!!

Tell me more about Enzo and Evelyn - I'm getting a feeling that Evelyn doesn't mind being slimy, given that it is one of the requirements for the 'efficient sluggism' award, while poor Enzo hankers after a more comfortable, drier existence despite knowing that his great-uncle namesake would be absolutely horrified to know that. Sorry Enzo Jr: you're a slug, and slimy you must remain....

Expand full comment
Mar 24Liked by Rebecca Holden

I have to ask: what do you call your teapot?

Expand full comment
author

Hamish! He was green. I don't think I still have him - he came to university with me and many a hangover cure (the strongest tea known to science) was brewed up in him. 🤣

Expand full comment